Love's Suicide (Love's Suicide #1) by Jennifer Foor

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Synopsis:

My heart belonged to Branch and Brooks Valentine since we were children, when we were all too naïve to know what that even meant. We didn’t understand that when we became adults, love would change us. I had to make a choice and when I did, it ripped our bond apart. Brooks left town, and he took half of my heart with him. It was difficult, but I coped and planned my future with Branch. I thought I’d made the right decision. I loved him and I always had.

Brooks showed up to be our best man the night before our nuptials. After drinks and too much reminiscing, I ended up in bed with the wrong brother. To avoid the humiliation and the fact that I’d ruined all of our lives, I left Branch and the only family I’d ever known.

That’s where my story should have ended.

Two years, one beautiful little girl and an abusive marriage later, I was standing there staring at the man that would always hold my heart.

The only question was…

Would I give it to him

I’m Katy Michaels and this is my story.

Review:

*spoiler alert - there will be spoilers ahead. Don't read if you don't want to know what happens*

Love's Suicide was a very frustrating book for me to read. I was stuck on a train for a few hours with this book and man. Not good. I HATED Katy. Seriously hated her. She is one of the stupidest, most frustrating, most cowardly ladies I have ever read. Really her cowardice made her much worse than the normal stupidity. Plus she just jumped to conclusions all the freaking time that were not true and made even more drama than there needed to be and oh I didn't like her. She just kept keeping herself from not being happy for no good reason, then would be all poor me about it. Ugh. 

So right from the beginning you can see that Katy and Brooks have something. Even when they are young there is something there between them. But Branch wants Katy also so he tells the other two they don't like each other so Katy says okay...I will still be all sad that I don't have Brooks and he is sleeping with other girls and such, but I will be with Branch cause I love him, just not like that. I can see as a teenager not being able to tell the difference, but man as they get older and are in college why would she stay with Branch? Katy starts finding out all the incredibly jerkish ways Branch kept her and Brooks apart. All the awful things he did and does she say anything? Nope. Just goes along with it. I mean even leading up to their wedding she is angry with him, but won't tell him. Yeah that was going to be a happy marriage if that would have happened...You even find out more of what happened between Branch and Katy in flashbacks later on and I have no idea why she would ever been with Branch. Sure he told her Brooks didn't like her like that, but does that mean she has to be with a guy who treats her like crap? Really? Ugh. 

So as the synopsis says Brooks comes back the night before the wedding and Katy and he sleep together. And then Katy runs as oh noes! Everyone will hate her! The boys parents are like her parents, they raised her after her parents were killed, but still she cuts everyone off and just disappears. Even when she would call her one friend at times to check in and the friend would say how much everyone misses her she is just like nope. They hate me. I can never speak to them again! They are my family, but family holds super duper grudges and hates people willy nilly! ARGH! 

So Katy ran away and found a small town and friends, a job and a place to live instantly. Yey her. Then she finds out she is pregnant with Brooks' child. Does she tell Brooks? Or his family? Hell no. Why would she do something like that. True he is overseas in the military, but he deserves to know he will be a freakin dad. I HATE when ladies do that. Hate it so much. Sure you give birth to the kid, but the guy plays a part as well and he deserves to know his offspring is out there. He deserves to know the child, not have you hide it from him because you are too scared and cowardly to do the right thing ever. Instead you would rather be all poor me, maybe I should kill myself because everyone hates me, when they don't hate you! I don't really know why she was like she was. Maybe that was one of the big issues - why was she so determined to make everything worse at all times? Why was she so determined to be so unhappy and not give people a chance to react before just assuming that it will be horrible? Why be so frustrating? Why??? 

So she has her baby without telling Brooks or his family. And lives in her small town and marries this guy who loves her but knows she doesn't love him to get on his health insurance. Stupid. I am not sure why she did that. She would have only had to wait a little bit, just a few more months, before she would have come into plenty of money to pay off her medical bills so...not sure why she married him. But she did, and he loved her child like it was his own and everything was okay until he starts to hit her. He hits her two or three times and she says that's it and leaves him. He then goes to anger management and such and changes and wants her back so of course she goes back. 

Then she starts writing to Brooks because she still loves him and they have this letter exchange love affair while she is married to the other guy and keeping Brooks' kid a secret from him. I am not sure what she expected to come from that, how she thought it would work out, especially with the way the rest of the book played out. What was the point? So then she stops getting letters from Brooks and thinks the worst - he is dead. She calls her friend and the friend is all are you calling about Brooks? And Katy takes that to mean he really is dead!! So she falls apart, then starts to try and make a real marriage with her husband. Everything is fine, they are even trying to have their own baby together. 

Then Brooks comes back. He is alive?!? Oh yeah, maybe you shouldn't have just hung up instantly when the friend didn't actually say anything, destroyed your phone and changed your number immediately after not getting any news. So that makes it this big mess, with Brooks now wanting to spend time with his child and Katy's husband not happy that he is back in the picture. Though I will say I didn't get the husband or Katy. He was going to leave as he could see that she would go back to Brooks now that he is there, but Katy was adamant that she wouldn't leave him for Brooks. Why? Cause he helped her through some hard times so even though she doesn't love him and she is totally in love with Brooks she doesn't want to hurt her husband. Yeah she was a winner. And of course then the husband goes crazy suddenly, gets super violent, and just loses it. So then Brooks is there for Katy and they are just this happy little family. She just needs to get a restraining order for her husband and divorce him and everything will be fine. Not sure how she thought still living in the small town where no one, not even her "friends", believed that her husband hit her was a smart thing to do. I mean he really went crazy...how would you feel safe living so close to him? I don't know. 

Anyways Brooks takes her up to see his family who *shock* *surprise* don't hate her!?! Man she is so frustrating. Even when people tell her his family wants to see her she is still no, they hate me. I am the worst! I must stay away! Everyone hates me!! Oh poor her. Poor her for being so cowardly. Then the husband tracks her down and makes her get in his truck, though really she could  have screamed or something and her family would have been there for her. I don't know why she didn't think super big, strong, Brooks couldn't take her husband, or that her entire family working as one couldn't get him to leave, but oh well. She goes with him and then he is all abusive towards her in the car and going super crazy, saying how she cannot leave him and whatnot, so she hits him over the head with a bottle while he is driving down the highway!?! Seriously? Seriously. Why would you think it was a good idea to potentially kill the guy speeding down the road? And why aren't you wearing a seat belt? And with the car flipping over and being super crushed how were you not injured more? Oh it was lame. And the husband doesn't make it so the last part of the book is Katy once again pushing Brooks away cause she is just a horrible person and she killed her husband! Everyone hates her now again cause....Man I just wanted her to stop. I wish she would have grown or something, changed in some way, instead of just being incredibly stupid throughout the entire story. Every decision she made was cowardly and not based in fact and she just ran all the time. She was the only person standing in her way to happiness, but she could never freaking move out of her own way. Instead it was just all poor me! Argh! She just constantly ran from everyone good in her life for no reason. But she would stay with the husband cause...he helped her some. Cause Brooks and his family ware never there for her...oh wait. They always were. Brooks was her protector and they all loved her...yeah she didn't make any sense. 

Then the worst part for me, yeah I didn't know reading it that it could get worse, was the end where Brook's mom shares her big secret and why Katy should forgive herself and be with Brooks. My eyes rolled so hard. It was just like really? Did you really need to add another little bit of useless drama to this thing? Really? Okay. At least it is over now. I have no idea why Brooks didn't give up on Katy sooner. I have no idea why he wasn't actually really angry with her for a lot of things. I have no idea how this would ever work out with them as she never changed. Will she run at he first sign of trouble? Probably. Will Brooks chase after her? Who knows. Maybe he will eventually get tired of it. Sure we are lead to believe they live happily ever after, I just don't buy it. Really not a good book. 

Besides all that plot stuff, besides hating Katy so much I hated the story, I also didn't like the way it was written. It was pretty much all tell no show which may be why I had such issues with Katy. OH! And I almost forgot! Something about Brooks. When she was with Branch, when they were teenagers, there were two times when Brooks snuck into Katy's room to comfort her and ended up sleeping with her. When she thought he was Branch. And when she finds out shortly before he leaves for the military is she angry? Not really. It makes her feel closer to Brooks. Um what? That is soooo not cool with me. Like no. Like I couldn't even get into their love story because I kept thinking about that and no. Just no. So yeah, not a good read. I don't know that I will be reading the next book, this same story from Brook's point of view. It might be better, I might not hate him as much, but Katy...oh she annoyed me. Not doing it again. 

Rating: ★